Leave It To Bivuru
Uncle Andrew
We’ve been DVRing a lot of Iron Chef lately. Not just the new American version hosted by notable knowitall of noshables Alton Brown (and “chaired” by martial arts prodigy and all-round moke Mark Dacascos–listen to the way he slushes certain fricatives in words like “history” and “strategy” if you doubt his blala status), which we watch religiously, but the classic Fuji Television import being graciously rerun on Food Network. So luxurious! 😀
For no particular reason, I seem to have a soft spot for Iron Chef Italian Masahiko Kobe. I find myself defending him in absentia against the disses of our housemate. Shawn thinks of him as a total loser (he does have the worst win-to-loss ratio on the program), a vestigial organ of the show. Kind of like Jai Rodriguez on Queer Eye. (I also think this is kind of mean….but true.)
My feeling is that Kobe, being the youngest and least experienced Iron Chef, is of course going to lose more often than his colleagues. But that’s not the whole of it. I think I feel sort of protective of him. He always looks so fresh-faced and earnest, rising solo on his little hydraulic dais to the pantomimed bowing of a quartet of violins. Fresh-faced, earnest, and yes, in all likelihood doomed. But game nonetheless.
Something about the whole package struck me a few weeks ago, and I began adding my own voiceover to that of the actor playing announcer Kenji Fukui during the show’s intro:
“Iron Chef Japanese is Masaharu Morimoto.
Iron Chef French is Hiroyuki Sakai.
Iron Chef Chinese is Chen Kenichi.
And Masahiko Kobe, as The Beaver!”
Say it along with Fukui just once, in that jocular “Leave It To Beaver” announcer tone, chances are good that you’ll never get it out of your head. 😉
4 Responses to “Leave It To Bivuru”
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May 11th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
I lurves me some original Iron Chef! I like the new American one OK, but the originals are classics. My fav Iron Chef was the older guy who was Iron Chef: Japanese before Morimoto. For the life of me, I cannot remember his name. I’m too lazy to google too. Since you’re going over the reruns, maybe you’ll enlighten me…. I love the dubbed over narrations, they crack me up. I have no idea what they’re saying when you hear the floor roamer guy interrupt the regular commentator with an overly enthusiastic “Ess-quee-san!” Is that the guy’s name, or is it the dubber trying to say “excuse me”? And why do the japanese lady judges always hold their hands over their mouths when commenting on the food? Are they afraid that they’ll have nori between their teeth?
May 11th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
His name was Roksaburo Michiba, and Morimoto could kick his scrawny blue-silk-clad ass any day of the week and twice on Sundays!!! Okay, so I’m overcompensating because I love Morimoto’s restaurant so much. If you’re ever in Philly, it’s a must-see. And the announcer’s name is Fukui, so the floor man Ohta is saying “Fukui-san”. Dilettante. 😛
May 12th, 2007 at 11:40 am
I think the hand over the mouth has more to do with Japanese ideals of what is ladylike and what is not rather than the Nori, but I could be wrong. Kurt-san care to comment? A loud guffaw is decidedly un-delicate.
And Andrew and I have this theory about one of the more common female judges on the original. The theory is that the fortune teller, whose name I can’t remember, and Asako Kiishi the food critic are one and the same person, she just decides which persona to don each time she appears.
You’ve never seen them together have you?!
May 12th, 2007 at 11:52 am
The fortune teller’s name is Kazuko Hosoki.
How the fuck do I remember these things….?