Wait! Wait!! Hkscxklfffttttt! (snort snort snort)

Do you really mean to tell me….. Snckxlffffftttttttt!

Okay, okay. I’m better now.

You’re feeding your dog a home cooked diet whose ingredients are (you pointed this out) certified organic. You’re feeding your dog an assload of unnecessary vitamins and supplements all carefully researched (on the web) to be pure, and natural, and beneficial and all that good shit. You’re giving your dog BOTTLED WATER so she’s not exposed to the chemicals and pathogens that are present in municipal tap water. Your dog has her own room and her own memory foam bed.

And then ksklkfxxttttt! (SNORT)(pant, pant, pant)… And then you tell me that your dog’s treats consist of turkey hot dogs and pepperoni.
Possibly two of the most chemical and pathogen laden, inorganic, lips and asshole based meat products available on the market.

BWAhahahahahahahahahahaha!

Whew (wiping brow). Thanks, I needed that.

Youth is wasted on the young and irony is truly wasted on the oblivious.