While I am not able to indulge this particular habit very often due to diabetes, I am inordinately fond of so-called “Sport Drinks”, those wholly-contrived concoctions of sugar, artifical flavor and what basically amounts to human sweat. I’m not sure why, but sport drinks seem to stimulate my yummy centers in a way that can’t be achieved via water, fruit juice, family, religion, etc.

The bottle pictured here is Powerade, a product of the Coca Cola Company. It is not quite as sweet as Gatorade, and comes in a variety of colors (none of these things really have “flavors”, which explains why so many of them have names like “Blue Ice” and “Green Squall”) that my palate finds appealing.

It was the Nutrition Facts panel of ths particular beverage, however, that really caught my eye. Look at the bottom of the highlighted portion. Under the “Calories” legend, the manufacturer helpfully added the parenthetical term “Energy” by way of further explanation.

Thanks for the information, guys! While you’re at it, why don’t you further illuminate the word “water” with the term “(hydration aid)”, expand on “sucrose acetate isobutyrate” by adding “(go-power)”, and clear up any potential confusion about “Red number 5” with the phrase “(good old-fashioned American ‘Can-Do!’ attitude)”?

Then again, what more can you expect from a product that touts itself as a “Liquid Hydration + Energy Drink”? Thank goodness; I’m really tired of trying to hydrate myself with, say, sand.