Most every Saturday, Margaret and I saddle up and head for the thriving bedroom metropolis of Everett Washington to visit her acupuncturist—the parking lot of whose office being where I am writing this entry. While getting up at 8:00 on a Saturday morning is hardly my idea of a good time or even normal behavior, I have to admit, this has been a good thing for us. In addition to working wonders for her tendinitis, the weekly trip through the wilds of greater outlying Seattle has been a refreshing change to our otherwise rather-stultifying-if-enjoyable Saturday routine of lying around the house listening to NPR and skritching kitties. (Hmm, that sounds dirty for some reason. Stroking fur? Petting pussies? Never mind, let’s stick with the first one.) Afterward, since we’re already up and many miles from home, we often take the opportunity to get things done we might not otherwise do; visit the Pike Place market, eat lunch at some restaurant we’ve never tried, drop in on friends in the city, whathaveyou. So overall it’s been a nice addition to our typical weekend routine.

Much of Everett is very nice—Snohomish County, in which Everett resides, is the fastest growing county in Washington State—with lots of greenery, state parks, that sort of thing. However, just as much of it seems to be taken up with strip malls, positively brimming with chain stores, smoke shops and teriyaki joints. Among the consumer clutter there exists a not-inconsiderable smattering of that once uniquely Northwest signature subclass of the establishments bred solely to drain the cash from the pockets of modern First-World car culture; the drive-through espresso stand.

Now, I am in no way complaining about the existence of these stalwarts of the Washington byway. I am a huge fan of coffee, and a frequent patron of these stands. I probably spend thirty bucks a month at one or another coffee shop, both in my neighborhood and further abroad. Sometimes I choose to spend my dough on local color (and flavor), at other times I go for the consistency of the soul-smothering multinational corporate coffee behemoth. All depends on my mood and what’s available.

What I do not do, and will never, ever do, is choose to spend my money at a “Barista Babe Booth”.

I don’t know what may be the cutting edge in drive-through coffee culture in your neck of the woods, Dear Reader, but around here the state-of-the-art seems to be the stand staffed by a scantily-clad young thang, slinging coffee and showing off her gazongas to the delight of her classless but ultimately high-tipping clientele. Like strip joints, peep shows and other forms of public prurience, I simply cannot understand why anyone would show their face in such an establishment when multiple entire universes of all the skin you could ever want to see, in an embarrassment (literally, an embarrassment) of shapes, sizes, styles and colors is just a mouse click away, in the privacy of your own home. Unless your particular pathology is specifically tied to public displays of carnality, of course, in which case you should probably not  be out on the streets on your own recognizance at all.

Anyway, it’s not a huge problem for me; I don’t think they should be shut down, though some communities have gone as far as to attempt exactly that. I just don’t patronize the places. The reason I started this post was to proffer the following photos.

Photo 1 is of Rockstar Espresso, a joint located on the right side of the main drag we exit onto from I-5 on our way to the acupuncturist’s office. Nothing says good coffee like being built into the side of a gas station, am I right?

As much as I loathe their sign, (I suppose it’s not impossible that someone who allows the perceived excellence of the shape of her body to be advertised on the reader board for a roadside coffee stand might also be “classy”, but it seems to fly in the face of logic) I never gave it more than half a thought until this week, when we discovered that the espresso stand across the street has put up their own sign:

Guess where I’m going for a mocha after Margaret gets out. 😀