Shot this at the QFC the other day.

*Sigh* You know, time was the waterways of the Puget Sound region were aswarm with shoals of gamboling wild salmon patties. During the spawning season you could visit just about any waterway and see the little fellers struggling valiantly against the current, while black and brown bears lined the wild rivers and streams, massive paws extended, hamburger buns at the ready. It was a sight to behold, and one of the things that first drew me to the beautiful, sylvan territory of the Pacific Northwest. Well, that and the fact that Evergreen was the only college that would take me.

Sadly, those days has passed, perhaps forever.

Some say the wild patties’ numbers have dwindled due to overharvesting; others cite the destruction of their habitat and the life-giving Tartar Moss that sustained them during their arduous journey to their ancient spawning grounds.

Me, I place the blame square on the shoulders of the commercial fish-patty farmers, and their unwitting introduction of a deadly competitor for resources: the salmon patties’ faster breeding, more aggressive cousin, the Filet-O-Fish.