Heard an official from the National Institute on Drug Abuse talking on the radio about a recent report on inhalant abuse among children and teenagers. Apparently, aproximately 17 percent of all eighth graders have abused inhalants—paint thinner, hair spray, glue, nitrous, etc. Pretty scary stuff. But this person saved the worst for last. Studies show, he reported ominously, that children who regularly abuse inhalants invariably move on to…..marijuana! (Dun-dun-DUUUUUUUN!)

Don’t get me wrong; I am no proponent of childhood drug abuse. Hell, I’m a survivor of it. But the first thought that popped into my head at this announcement was, “Oh, thank God! If only those poor little tykes had started on pot sooner!”

Sorry to say it, but there’s no comparison between the potential damage of smoking a doobie and huffing a can of Aqua Net. To imply that moving from the latter to the former is anything but an improvement would lead one to wonder what you’ve been smoking. Or snorting.